behavior

Blessings for Insults

Unfortunately, it is easy to see examples of retaliation all across the world. In America, it has become commonplace to hear of mass shootings which almost always seem to be fueled by revenge of some sort. People believe they or society has been wronged so they set out to express themselves by harming others.

Peter gave a general summary of the expected behavior among Christians in 1Peter 3:8. In verse 9, he gives a specific example along with a reminder of the inheritance we have in Christ.

1Peter 3:8-9 To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.

We are to be like-minded, show sympathy, have brotherly love, be compassionate and humble. The opposite would be to return evil for evil or insult for insult. Let’s look at what this means.

First, the three letters that spell ‘not’ leave no room for exception in these behaviors. ‘Not’ expresses an absolute denial. God forbid, never are we to involve ourselves in these things. The idea of not getting back at someone hits us at the core of our prideful hearts. In our flesh, we naturally want to avenge ourselves, to prove our supposed innocence, and to look better than others. We instinctively want others to feel sorry for us when we are mistreated. Unfortunately we are all guilty of those unbecoming conversations which begin with the words, “Can you believe what he/she did?”. What follows is usually a rendition of the wrongdoing towards us and our quick judgement and sentence of another’s guilt. We then feel vindicated; we become puffed up with pride. Does this honor God?

You have heard the word payback. This word can have either a positive or negative connotation. The negative meaning is an act of revenge or retaliation. It stems from vengeance. Unfortunately, it is easy to see examples of retaliation all across the world. In America, it has become commonplace to hear of mass shootings which almost always seem to be fueled by revenge of some sort. People believe they or society has been wronged so they set out to express themselves by harming others. Note for a moment the majority of lawsuits. What is the premise? To indict a penalty upon someone who has wronged someone else. Obviously, there are absolute times when this is necessary for protection and order. But often, accusations are simply borne out of a need to prove someone’s guilt.

What results from returning evil for evil or insult for insult?

No one is blessed! Strife, envy, pride, and hate manifest themselves in wicked behavior. Relationships are harmed, and seething anger can become volatile. People are physically and emotionally harmed.

It may be easy to see this in the world around us but what about in your immediate world?

Do you hold on to grudges?

Do you resent those who have injured you; do you harbor bad feelings towards them?

Do you feel as if you have a score to settle?

Are you able to genuinely pray that those who have harmed you are blessed? If they are unsaved, do you pray for their understanding of the Gospel?

Think! Without good we would not recognize evil; without Christ we do not understand the depths of sin. Remember why the Old Testament Law was given – to show the Israelites their sin and their need of a Savior to come.

We should not be surprised at the sin among us,

however we must be serious about the sin in ourselves.

As a believer, we cannot be comfortable with our own sinful behavior! We easily see the downturn of humanity in the world, but our focus needs to be on demonstrating Christ’s forgiveness in our own lives. This means we do not react to evil or insults by returning the same – or even thinking the same.

Proverbs 20:22 Do not say, "I will repay evil"; wait for the LORD, and He will save you.

Proverbs 24:29 Do not say, "Thus I shall do to him as he has done to me; I will render to the man according to his work.

Romans 12:17-18 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.

Matthew 5:39-40 "But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. "If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.

Is this difficult? Yes, however we must fight against our natural tendency to sin. Jesus died and rose again – sin no longer reigns in a believer’s heart. We are called to give a blessing to those who wrong us. Our text reads, not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead.

Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

Romans 12:19-21 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord. "BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Matthew 5:44 "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

When we look at Matthew 5:44 and the command to love our enemies, it is not that we approve of their conduct. We should not love the actions of someone who curses and reviles us, and injures our person or property, or violates the laws of God. “Though we may hate his actions, and even be deeply injured by it, we may still wish well to the person; we may pity his madness and folly; we may speak kindly of him, and to him; we may not return evil for evil; we may aid him in the time of trial; and seek to do him good here, and to promote his eternal welfare hereafter”, (excerpts from Barnes’ NT Commentary on Mt 5:44).

1Thessalonians 5:15 See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.

Consider your own unworthiness. God chose to bestow numerous blessings upon your life – regardless of your pitiful state, regardless of your guilt. Because He loves you, He sent His Son to die, to pay the penalty of your sin. How can we who are blessed beyond measure not show forgiveness to another?

Read the following warning in Proverbs.

Proverbs 17:13-14 He who returns evil for good, evil will not depart from his house. The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so abandon the quarrel before it breaks out.

Consider the example of Jesus. He did not return insult; He kept entrusting Himself to God. He did not give up, rather He surrendered Himself to His Father and kept moving forward in His Father’s plan trusting Him to make things right.

1Peter 2:23 and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;

The admonition in 1Peter 3:9 is not only not returning evil or insult, but also returning good for evil or insult.

"Knowing that you were called to be Christians in order that you should obtain a blessing infinite and eternal in the heavens. Expecting such a blessing yourselves, you should be ready to scatter blessings on all others. You should be ready to bear all their reproaches, and even to wish them well. The hope of eternal life should make your minds calm; and the prospect that you are to be so exalted in heaven should fill your hearts with benignity and love." There is nothing which is better fitted to cause our hearts to overflow with benignity, to make us ready to forgive all others when they forgive us, than the hope of salvation. Cherishing such a hope ourselves, we cannot but wish that all others may share it, and this will lead us to wish for them every blessing. A man who has a hope of heaven should abound in every virtue, and show that he is a sincere well-wisher of the race. Why should one who expects soon to be in heaven harbour malice in his bosom? Why should he wish to injure a fellow-worm? How can he?”, Albert Barnes’ NT Commentary.

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Luke 6:27-28 “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

1Peter 3:9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.

“Ye are called to inherit a blessing – therefore their railing cannot hurt you; and, by blessing them, you imitate God, who blesses you”, John Wesley’s Notes.

In the past, I have travelled to the warm weather in the Caribbean during the cold months of January in the states. I did not concentrate on packing for the winter, I planned on being prepared for the balmy weather that awaited me.

As you sojourn through your time on earth, what are you concentrating on? Where is your focus? What are you preparing for? Are you engulfed in the problems and pursuits of this world or the promises for your final destination?

“This is your calling-your business in life, to do good, and to do good for evil, and to implore God's blessing even on your worst enemies. And this is not only your duty, but your interest; for in so doing you shall obtain God's blessing, even life for evermore”, Adam Clarke’s Commentary.

When we remember our purpose, we are less likely to recount wrongs. When we remember God’s forgiveness, we will not remain intent on proving another’s guilt. In fact, we will not want to relinquish our time and opportunities for good only to indulge in unnecessary conflict. We will instead be preparing for the blessings ahead.

1Peter 2:21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,

Matthew 25:34 "Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.

1Peter 1:3-5 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

According to one commentary, to inherit a blessing is not only passive, but also active. “Receiving spiritual blessing from God by faith, and in your turn blessing others from love. It is not in order to inherit a blessing that we must bless, but because our portion is blessing”, Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Commentary, [Gerhard in Alford].

We have the blessing of forgiveness and eternal life in heaven with our Savior. Whatever we deem as suffering on earth is nothing compared to the blessings promised for our future. Shouldn’t we be able to show generosity in our forgiveness towards others? If we consider God’s great mercy shown toward us, we will be more apt to show generous mercy towards others.

“Not returning evil for evil, nor reproach for reproach; but, on the contrary, rather blessing, even to those that curse you, according to our Lord’s precept; knowing that to this purpose ye were called to the profession of Christianity, that ye might inherit a blessing immense and eternal; the expectation of which (considering its infinite importance) may well keep your spirits calm and composed, whatever be the injury and ill usage you may meet with from your fellow-men”, Philip Doddridge N.T.

Are you willing to bear whatever injuries you believe you have received, with a sincere prayer for the perpetrator’s good?

The People’s New Testament Commentary reads, “Hereunto were ye called. Peter enjoins good deeds for evil, and blessing for reviling, because any other course would be inconsistent with the Christian calling. Called to a heritage of blessing they must live lives of blessing, for "as a man soweth so also shall he reap".

Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.

Consider the immense blessing of heaven awaiting you. Let us act according to the truth of our salvation.

Heart Submission

The importance is not so much the submission; it is the purpose of submission. Submission comes from a heart of obedience. Being submissive to God’s commands, gives glory to His deity.

We’ll concentrate on three important words – submission, conversation, and behavior. These words describe some of the characteristics of those who seek to follow Jesus. Keep this question in mind – What do others see in us?

Specifically in this case the focus is on wives, however the testimony of our love for Christ through our words and actions is universal to all God’s children. So whether you are single, divorced, married, or widowed, these principles should be applied.

1Peter 3:1-2 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any [of them] are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

1Peter Chapter 1 listed the numerous blessings of being called by Christ to follow Him. In Him we have a certain future; we are able to have joy not based on circumstances but rather on God’s promises.

1Peter Chapter 2 introduced specific sins we are to avoid and the need for our pursuit of growth in our walk. Jesus is our solid foundation and those who follow Him are blessed. Excellent behavior and submission to authority will cause a believer to look different from the world around them. This may be difficult, yet it is desirable because God is honored by our example of His righteousness. We have God’s protection as our Shepherd; our purpose is to glorify Him in all things.

Now in 1Peter Chapter 3, the instruction of submitting to those in leadership over us continues with specific examples.

In the NAS, the first words we read are, ‘In the same way’. The KJV says, ‘Likewise’. These words refer to what has already been described in the previous chapter. The concept of submission is applied to those in governing authority (2:13), to masters (2:18), and now, in wives to their own husbands. We could also include children to parents, employers to employees, and perhaps there are other relationships you can think of where submitting to authority would apply.

The importance is not so much the submission; it is the purpose of submission. Submission comes from a heart of obedience. Being submissive to God’s commands gives glory to His deity. God knows all things therefore we can trust and obey His plan. Submission itself, as a practice, is a powerful tool in avoiding chaos. You have heard the idiom, “too many chiefs and not enough Indians”. This saying may be politically incorrect in our culture today, but it describes a picture for us of everyone wanting to be in charge and not enough people willing to do the work. Instruction gives direction, it produces order, and it encourages accomplishment of a task.

What was Jesus’ example of submission?

Matthew 26:39 And He went a little beyond [them,] and fell on His face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as Thou wilt."

John 6:38 "For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.

Philippians 2:8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

This charge to submission is not to be forced. It is a choice to place oneself under another, to become subordinate to another and obey. Forcing someone to obey is just controlling someone. Much the same as forcing someone to love – it cannot be done. The action of following commands or saying ‘I love you’ mean nothing if not from the heart. When we view ourselves as being subject to authority, we willingly surrender power to someone else. This is an act of humility – desiring to please someone else’s directive above your own. It acknowledges that perhaps others have a better understanding or more complete information.

Read Jesus’ words, ‘not as I will’. Jesus did not quit when it got difficult, He did not give up on the will of His Father, He did not decide He had a better plan, and He did not abandon His purpose or position. Instead He relied on God’s perfect plan for mankind’s redemption. He called on God’s grace and strength to complete His mission. He chose to trust in God’s plan and paid the ultimate price in giving His life. There is no account of His saying it was too hard, or others were too mean, or that He simply could not continue because He did not like what was happening. His sight was on the authority of His Father in heaven. His example is one of greatest humility. Jesus’ example is that God knows perfectly how His plan of redemption will come to fruition and to honor Him, we must obey and willingly be used by Him for His glory.

In Chapter 2 of this book, we read that in the case of governing authorities and masters of all kinds we are to submit. Similarly, wives are to submit themselves to their husbands. This act of willful obedience recognizes the important role of a husband to lead as the rightful head of the family.

Ephesians 5:21-24 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, [be subject] to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself [being] the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives [ought to be] to their husbands in everything.

1Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.

Colossians 3:18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

1Peter 3:1 speaks mainly to wives with an unbelieving husband, however the principle to submit remains the same in application to those whose husbands believe. You may be thinking that because you are widowed or single, the understanding of this truth is not applicable or lacks importance for you. I would disagree. How do you encourage your married friends and family? Are you respectful of their relationships? It also might be tempting to spend more time with your friend who is a believer than your husband who is not. What would God have you do?

Think of this simple word picture of walking a dog. How difficult is it to leash a dog and walk it if it is pulling and grunting and fighting every step of the way? When our French bulldog Lily, was a puppy, we would try to take her on walks – notice the word try – and always a few blocks into our walk she would simply lay down, sometimes in the middle of crossing a street, and refuse to take another step. The choice at that point was to leave her, drag her, or carry her the rest of the way. Although this is a silly example it does convey the difficulty to those in charge when we refuse to submit.

Do we encourage leadership by supporting those in charge or do we make it difficult, always pushing our own directives as more important?

Willful submission encourages those in authority. In addition, this behavior also has the potential of gaining approval. Our verse says ‘be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any [of them] are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives’.

“The apostle next gave directions concerning the duties of wives and husbands, as a matter of great importance to the credit and success of the gospel. In general, wives were commanded to be “subject to their own husbands;” and even they who were married to Gentiles or other unbelievers, whether they had been converted since their marriage, or had sinfully brought themselves into so trying a situation, ought to obey this commandment in all things lawful ... This must be attended to in a conscientious manner; not only in order to lighten their own trial and to “adorn the gospel,” but with an especial aim at the conversion of their husbands; which was not so much to be expected from a disputatious attempt to teach them the gospel, as from the silent persuasive eloquence of a becoming deportment. Thus the wives might hope to win upon those who did not obey the word, but treated it with contempt and neglect; as the constant, obliging, amiable conduct, and prudent discourse of such near relatives, would tend to soften their prejudices and conciliate their affections; and so induce them to pay more attention to the preaching of the gospel”, Thomas Scott.

1Corinthians 7:16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

1Corinthians 9:19 For though I am free from all [men,] I have made myself a slave to all, that I might win the more.

Ephesians 5:1-2 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

Colossians 4:5 Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity.

Proverbs 11:30 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who is wise wins souls.

Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, [to be] sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.

Note, submission is not based on whether it is easy, acknowledged, or appreciated. Rather, it is based on our love and obedience to God. Circumstances should not be the sole dictator of our actions; instead, God’s love for us and our gratefulness to Him, should cause our willful subjection to authority.

The act of submitting to those in authority, and especially to one’s husband, is considered archaic and even oppressive in our culture today. This is not a popular or accepted ideal. This means we will look different than those around us who do not know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. By our unusual example, perhaps we will have the opportunity to share truth.

Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.

Proverbs 16:7 When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

Hebrews 13:20-21 Now the God of peace, who brought up from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant, [even] Jesus our Lord, equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom [be] the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Does my conduct influence those around me, specifically my unbelieving husband if applicable, to desire the very thing that causes my pleasing acceptance of their leadership?

Is my example godly or worldly?

Consider how the behavior and words of others affect you either negatively or positively. We can be drawn towards another and more readily listen to them and observe them with interest. Or we can be repulsed by someone’s actions, wanting nothing to do with their philosophies.

Read Paul’s account of humility in his letter to the church at Philippi.

Philippians 3:7-8 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish in order that I may gain Christ,

1Peter 1:17-19 And if you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each man's work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay [upon earth]; knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, [the blood] of Christ.

Fear and reverence of God will result in subjection to obedience towards your own husband and towards those placed in authority. We are called to share the Gospel when we speak; we are called to exemplify the Gospel through our behavior.

1Peter 3:2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

Whether we like it or not, whether we admit others are affected by our words and actions, the reality is others do watch. Consider a child imitating their parent or an employee watching the example of their employer. We may not be responsible entirely for someone else's decisions however we must realize that our example does absolutely affect others. For this, we are responsible!

The word observe used in 1Peter 3:2 can be translated to inspect, to watch, to behold. When we inspect something, we look at it carefully, we check for accuracy and verification of its source. In this case, the unbelieving husband pays attention to his wife’s behavior. He can either be drawn towards her beliefs or pushed away from them. There is no guarantee that excellent behavior will draw him in however we never want to be the one whose inconsistencies deter someone away from the Gospel. In the same principle, we never want to be the cause for confusion in a believer’s life.

The wife in this scripture is called to be chaste or pure in her example, morally upright. She is called to be respectful in her behavior and conversation. Back up to the second Chapter of 1Peter for a moment and recall its words –

1Peter 2:12 Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may on account of your good deeds, as they observe [them,] glorify God in the day of visitation.

Ephesians Chapter 5

Ephesians 5:33 commands a wife to respect or revere her husband.

Is all your conversation and behavior filtered through your reverence for God?

Are you mindful of your words and actions towards those in authority?

Are you emulating Jesus’ example of humility in all circumstances?

“The trait of character which is referred to is that of proper respect and reverence in all the relations which she sustained, as opposed to a trifling and frivolous mind. Leighton suggests that the word fear here relates particularly to the other duty enjoined--that of chaste conversation--"fearing the least stain of chastity, or the very appearance of anything not suiting with it. It is a delicate, timorous grace, afraid of the least air, or shadow of anything that hath but a resemblance of wronging it, in carriage, or speech, or apparel", Albert Barnes’ NT Commentary.

What does God say about our conversation?

1Peter 1:15 But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; KJV

Philippians 1:27 Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel; KJV

1Timothy 4:12 Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but [rather] in speech, conduct, love, faith [and] purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.

Our call is to submit regardless of the circumstances, in the hope that our example may represent Christ’s righteousness and draw those around us to desire to know Him. Our behavior and conversation can be used as a valuable tool in encouraging others in Christ. Our submission acknowledges God’s deity, His power, and His right to rule over all.

A Changed Heart

By God’s grace, when we understand and appreciate the truths of the gospel, we will cease to live in sin and will instead live according to His word.

1Peter 2:1 Therefore, putting aside all malice and all guile and hypocrisy and envy and all slander,

Look back to 1 Peter 1:22-25. 1 Peter 2:1-10 is a continuation of the exhortation in the previous chapter meant to encourage the converted Christians. They were surrounded by the world yet no longer of the world. The enticement to fall into sin was apparent however, their faith in following God was to be their strength and focus. We can relate. Because we have been redeemed by Christ, because the Holy Spirit is working in our life, we are changed, and that change should be displayed in our character. We are weak and wanting in moral strength, purpose, and courage, and our time on earth is short. God’s word is our strength, not lacking in anything, perfect and lasting forever. Therefore, we are to …

Put aside the behavior that was once ours. This means to cast off the thinking and actions that were consistent with our old self.

Ephesians 4:22-31

Romans 13:12 The night is almost gone, and the day is at hand. Let us therefore lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.

Ephesians 5:11 And do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;

Because the power of God’s hand has changed us, we should no longer practice or participate in the sin that once ruled our life. Christ has redeemed us, the Spirit is renewing us, therefore we are to be different, think different, and act different from the world around us. This is only possible through God’s power. Without God, we are unable to fight sin. The power to put off sin is a gift of our salvation.

Ephesians 3:16, “that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man”.

Refer again to 1 Peter 1:22, “Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart”. There was difficulty amongst those who had chosen to follow Jesus. The witness through their actions to those who opposed them was extremely important. Were others drawn towards God by their changed lives?

How about us? Do our lives point toward the holiness of God? Do we act in a consistent manner of God’s calling?

If our faith has been placed solely in Christ, we have blessings and privileges in Him to help us live in accordance with His truths in obedience. Peter specifically calls out the worldly behaviors he has seen among those he is addressing.

Malice <kakia> badness, depravity, malignity, trouble, evil, naughtiness, wickedness. This is to threaten evil, actively seeking to see others suffer, having a disposition to injure others without cause, from mere personal gratification, or from a spirit of revenge, -- Webster.

This is a general term for all sorts of evil, be careful to address it. We can quickly brush something off as not being a part of our life, yet we have all seen threats of evil against another and many of us are guilty, at least in thought, of the same. We cannot lay aside an error if we are unable to admit our fault.

Consider, have you ever been spiteful toward someone? One commentary says, “Malice delights in another’s hurt”, (JFB). This is in direct contradiction with the actions of a saved soul. Titus 3:3 addresses this sin, For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another.

Guile <dolos> trickery, craftiness, deceit, subtilty. Unfortunately, most of us understand manipulation. This is presenting something just a bit different than it truly is, in order to get someone to respond in a way that you desire. The use of the word guile here is to be shrewd or skilled in deception.

The familiar phrase ‘sly as a fox’ pertains to someone who is particularly crafty or tricky. According to Idioms by The Free Dictionary, this term means you are ‘especially devious or underhanded’. These actions are almost always for one’s own advantage. Something that is meant to deceive is fraudulent, an imposter, and purposes to hedge around the truth. Think of guile as the small print in a contract, or the part of a spoken commercial at the end where the words are so fast it is impossible to hear their meaning. Psalm 34:13 says, “Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit”.

Hypocrisy <hupokrisis> acting under a feigned part. Deceit or dissimulation, to act falsely. This is pretending to be something you are not, in other words, saying one thing while doing the opposite. When your words are not supported by your actions you are a hypocrite. Someone who is insincere might give lip service, but their words are not supported by real conviction. This action may include flattery as someone might share positive words and actions yet think differently in their heart. Being a hypocrite is the opposite of being genuine.

Matthew 22:15-18 is an example, “Then the Pharisees went and counseled together how they might trap Him in what He said. And they *sent their disciples to Him, along with the Herodians, saying, "Teacher, we know that You are truthful and teach the way of God in truth, and defer to no one; for You are not partial to any. "Tell us therefore, what do You think? Is it lawful to give a poll-tax to Caesar, or not?" But Jesus perceived their malice, and said, "Why are you testing Me, you hypocrites?”

Envy <phthonos> ill-will, jealousy, spite. We see this often, especially in politics. Maliciously attacking another in order to bring them down. The source of this behavior is strong jealousy which leads to a desire to see others suffer by causing them emotional pain or offence. Jealousy has a nickname, the green-eyed monster. According to Wikipedia, jealousy is often brought on by ‘feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety’.

Read the instruction given in 1 Corinthians13:4, “Love is patient, love is kind, [and] is not jealous; love does not brag [and] is not arrogant”.

Do you have ill-feelings towards another’s welfare? A good question to ask ourselves may be ‘Am I able to rejoice with other’s accomplishments and blessings’?

How do you respond when your importance or position are threatened? Often you will see envy in the family structure, among children vying for attention, wanting to be the one who gets noticed. You may see this when extended family enters the picture through marriage. If you have grown children with spouses, are you able to be thankful for the attention given and time spent with another family?

Slander <katalalia> defamation, backbiting, evil speaking. Consider – have you been guilty of talking bad about another? Slander can be words that are falsely spoken that damage the reputation of someone. It can also be a purposeful attack on someone’s character or name. To slander someone is to falsely charge with malicious intent.

Are we careful with the words we use? Do we check our true motivation? Do we interpret someone’s actions without having all the facts? Do we check the source of our information or do we carelessly repeat what someone has said without thinking of the consequence? Do we readily listen to and believe gossip?

Slandering someone is the opposite of encouragement. It causes deep hurt and breaks trust between individuals. Read the exhortation in James 4:11, “Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother, or judges his brother, speaks against the law, and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge [of it]”.

If we are busy judging others, we are prideful. A heart of humility is most concerned about its own actions and purpose honoring God.

Each of the actions listed above are the rule of a life untouched by God’s grace. They are products of a life controlled by sin. They begin in the heart and are reflected in speech. We are to put away, cast off these behaviors.

Recall Ephesians 4:21-24, “if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in [the likeness of] God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth”.

Matthew Henry’s Commentary says the advice is to “lay aside or put off what is evil, as one would do an old rotten garment: ‘Cast it away with indignation, never put it on more’.

Colossians 3:8-10 But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, [and] abusive speech from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its [evil] practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him.

In Hebrews 12:1, we are told to put away sin – “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us”.

The book of James gives us the same instruction, “Therefore putting aside all filthiness and [all] that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls, James 1:21”.

Are we aware of our sin?

Do we ask God to show us the subtilty of it so that we can address it?

Do we actively seek to turn away from sin and turn towards God?

1 Peter 2:1 connects to the chapter that precedes it. Because you are in Christ, for this reason, you are to put aside the former self which is dominated by sin. This is important because the only way we are able to fight the pattern of sin in our lives is through Christ. On our own we are weak and ill-equipped for the battle. By God’s grace, when we understand and appreciate the truths of the gospel, we will cease to live in sin and will instead live according to His word. Living in sin is inconsistent with living in Christ. A changed heart will seek to live in holiness.

Consider the symbolism of baptism. It is a picture of being cleansed from our old way of life, having the power of sin washed away and replaced by the power of grace.

Romans 12:1 I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, [which is] your spiritual service of worship.

Right Attitude

Jesus was purposed by God to turn us toward Himself, to confirm our standing in His holy presence.

An attitude is, “A complex mental state involving beliefs and feelings and values and dispositions to act in certain ways”, WordWeb.

Describe your attitude. What are your thoughts? What are your actions? What do they say about you?

What things affect your attitude? How does your attitude affect your behavior?

Our conduct or behavior is a result of who we worship, who we love, who we honor, or who we admire. Largely, the way we act towards others, reflects what we think of ourselves. If we think highly of ourselves, we will think less of others. We will be focused on what others are doing wrong or not doing right or how they have offended us, rather than on how Christ would have us serve. On the other hand, when we are humble, others are lifted higher. We will automatically be an encourager and not think of ourselves as a victim, blaming others for our dissatisfaction. We will extend grace towards others just as God has extended His grace towards us.

Consider the purpose of every decision you make, and every word you speak. Look at who benefits, what your goals are, and who is honored. Think about the focus of your pursuits, the way you spend your time and resources, and what you hope to accomplish. Our behavior – the things attributed to how we act – is a picture of our character.

We have been redeemed by Jesus Christ, God’s only begotten Son, who willingly became the sacrifice for our sin. Perfect and spotless, Jesus suffered and died to take our penalty upon His body. He not only paid the ultimate price for our sin, but also secured heaven as our inheritance.

Because of who God is, and because of what He has done, we are to seek to be holy as He is holy. This means we choose to die to self, no longer living for worldly acknowledgement and pleasures. Instead, we live in Christ, desiring to be like Him. Our purpose is to exalt His name; our lives are driven by His love for us and our reverence of Him. In the following verses, Peter continues to lay out the reason to strive towards holiness as he reminds his readers of what has been accomplished for their sake. We are called to holiness and these instructions are for our benefit also.

1Peter 1:20 For He was foreknown before the foundation of the world, but has appeared in these last times for the sake of you

Jesus was foreknown before the foundation of the world.

Romans 16:25-26 “Now to him that is of power to establish you according to my gospel, and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery, which was kept secret since the world began but now is made manifest, and by the scriptures of the prophets, according to the commandment of the everlasting God, made known to all nations for the obedience of faith”.

Christ was always the plan for mankind’s redemption, even before the world existed. Albert Barnes’ NT Commentary says, it was “predetermined that He should be the great atoning Sacrifice for sin”. The Brethren NT Commentary states, “The fact that the Word existed in the glory, love and knowledge of the Father even before the creation of the material world … this is the providence of God”.

It is incredible to think that God, in His perfect love for mankind, had already planned for His Son to be the atoning Sacrifice for our sin.

John 17:5 "And now, glorify Thou Me together with Thyself, Father, with the glory which I had with Thee before the world was”.

God, in His perfect knowledge, chose to fix mankind’s problem of sin before man even existed. God is eternal; He has no beginning; He always has been – and He loves us enough to go to extreme measure to have a relationship with us. Therefore, be holy in your walk because of what He has done.

Ephesians 1:3-6 “Blessed [be] the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly [places] in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved”.

Proverbs 8:23 “I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth was”. KJV

We are to strive to be holy – not based on others’ actions or lack thereof – but based on Christ’s atoning sacrifice for our sin and the gift of eternal life we now possess.

What does this mean for you? How can you apply this truth?

Jesus was manifest for our sake.

Romans 16:25-26 Now to Him who is able to establish you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery which has been kept secret for long ages past, but now is manifested, and by the Scriptures of the prophets, according to the commandment of the eternal God, has been made known to all the nations, [leading] to obedience of faith.

To ‘establish’ us means to turn resolutely in a certain direction, to confirm. Jesus was purposed by God to turn us toward Himself, to confirm our standing in His holy presence. Read Paul’s address to Titus:

Titus 1:1-3 Paul, a bond-servant of God, and an apostle of Jesus Christ, for the faith of those chosen of God and the knowledge of the truth which is according to godliness, in the hope of eternal life, which God, who cannot lie, promised long ages ago, but at the proper time manifested, [even] His word, in the proclamation with which I was entrusted according to the commandment of God our Savior.

Jesus has always been. He appeared at the perfect time – for all mankind. God purposefully sent Jesus to die – for your benefit. The end of verse 20 says ‘for the sake of you’. There is a reason Christ died. Through His death we are reconciled to God. God’s interest in mankind was resolved in Jesus Christ.

Does your attitude reflect your worship of Jesus?

Seek Holiness

As God grows us in His likeness, we are less and less garbed in the world as the righteousness imputed to us through Christ becomes more evident in our character.

Obedience. 1. The act of obeying; dutiful or submissive behavior with respect to another person. 2. The trait of being willing to obey. 3. Behavior intended to please your parents. (WordWeb)

A synonym used for obedience is respect. When we consider showing respect towards someone or something, it is because we honor them, we have an attitude of admiration or esteem. When we honor or esteem someone, we want to please them, we want to do a good job, to perform well.

1Peter 1:14-16 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts [which were yours] in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all [your] behavior; because it is written, "YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY."

The address is to obedient children. Obedient <hupakoe> attentive hearkening, i.e. (by implication) compliance or submission. Consider, if you have accepted God’s gift of salvation, you are His child. Therefore, you are to be obedient. You are to hold your own personal desires and thoughts low, as being unimportant, and esteem God’s direction and commands as having higher value. The idea of submission is putting another’s authority and decisions in front of your own, respecting their knowledge and understanding as superior.

Contemplate this thought for a moment – ‘respecting their knowledge and understanding as superior’.

What does it require from you to respect another individual’s knowledge and understanding as superior?

Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Ro 12:3 For through the grace given to me I say to every man among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.

Philippians 2:5-8

God knows and understands all things.

Psalm 147:5 Great is our Lord, and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite.

Isaiah 40:28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable.

Romans 11:33 Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!

The motivation to obey as God’s children is to please Him as our Father. Obedience honors God’s name.

Following the description of who we are to be now - obedient children, is an explanation of who we once were before God took hold of our heart and turned our eyes to His truths. We were conformed to lust in our ignorance. We followed the same pattern as the world, longing for what is forbidden. Perhaps those who were saved later in life have a more well-defined picture of their ignorance in following the world. But even if you have been a believer since childhood, the struggle with sin is real and understanding its grip on the human heart is not difficult.

Consider how you have changed in your thinking and actions, and desires and pursuits, since Christ took hold of your life. For example, what I once thought was not so bad, I now see as directly opposed to God. And the things I desired were very self-centered and prideful. I would not have even understood that there was a problem in following the world – this was the acceptable standard. Comparing myself to the world’s standard, I thought I was fairly good. Look at the fallacy in this thinking.

First, when we compare ourselves to other individuals, we always come out on top because there is always someone in our own estimation that is worse off or did not do something as well as we did. We do not tend to look at the millions who have excelled over and above our own efforts.

Second, in order to make a true comparison of anything, the entire picture is needed, from the very worst to perfection. We are unable to comprehend either scenario. However, what we do know as God’s obedient children is that we are to strive towards God’s standard of holiness. Think of the following questions.

How well do you fit in the world?
Do your unsaved friends influence you, or do you influence them?
Do you act differently with one group of people than another?
What things might tempt you to try and ‘fit in’?

A word of caution. Being diligent with our own behavior does not mean we tell everyone else how they are to be acting or what they are doing wrong! It is God’s work in a heart that changes people. Yet, we are to be good examples, different from the world around us.

1 Peter 1:14 says we used to be ignorant regarding our behavior. To be ignorant is to be without information or intelligence, without understanding or knowledge. This is a description of who we were without Christ. The decisions we made were without full information, without the complete understanding of who we are and our desperate need for a Savior. We were entrenched in sin without even realizing we had a problem. Consider how well you are able to make good decisions when you have a significant piece of information missing. Try booking a flight without knowing the times you want to leave and arrive, or without having a destination in mind. Your plans will probably turn out haphazard at best. This is like shooting an arrow in the dark hoping you hit the target. This is the best we have without Christ. In fact, we are so heavily pulled into the things of this world that we do not even recognize the danger. – Until God opens His children’s eyes to His Truths. God’s children no longer conform to sin out of ignorance, instead they are characterized by obedience.

Obedience to God demands that we do not follow worldly ways. Instead, we are to live holy in all our behavior (v. 15-16).

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

1Peter 4:1-2 Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God.

Ephesians 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;

What does it mean to be holy?

We are to be physically and morally blameless. We are to strive to be like Jesus. This is only possible through His redemption of our soul. God is holy, He is perfect and pure. He is the One who called your name as His child. He is the one who has called you into understanding and faith in Christ. As His child, receiving all the benefits of His salvation, you also receive the means to be like Him, to imitate His character.

When we say we think we are not strong enough, this is true. However, God is omnipotent. When we say we cannot, we do not understand God’s power. Do we easily give up when we are fighting sin? It is sometimes much easier to concentrate on what everyone else is doing wrong. Almost every social media venue is built on complaints, disagreement with another, justification of self, and individuals sharing their opinions of why we should or should not do something. Is this the behavior that seeks to follow Christ in humility and obedience?

How much time and effort do you put into thinking of what others should or should not be doing? Is there any value in this? At best, this is self-serving.

Specifically, what is mentioned is behavior, or all manner of conversation (KJV). People aptly take on the persona of those they admire. Look around and notice that styles of dress, speech, and even food begin with following someone’s example that another thought highly of. If you profess to follow Jesus, it is imperative that your entire life points to His holiness. We need to learn about Him so that we can imitate Him. We have examples to follow throughout the word of God. Read what Paul tells the Corinthian church, “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).

It is impossible for us to be perfectly holy, yet we are to endeavor to follow the pattern set before us and practice holiness in every area of our life. We are holy because we belong to God; our actions should increasingly speak of our inward salvation. Our thoughts should be held captive by Truth, and our words should honor God. As we seek to know God and follow Him, our actions on the outside will reflect the change God has wrought on the inside. The inside transformation of our soul will show in the outward actions of our life.

2Corinthians 7:1 Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

Notice the word all again in verse 15. All means everything, it is inclusive to your whole behavior. Matthew Poole’s Commentary has this explanation of all, “with whomsoever ye converse, believers or infidels, friends or enemies, relations or stranger; and in whatsoever condition ye are in, peace or trouble, prosperity or adversity”.

The word ‘all’ negates any exception to holiness. This means we never have a reason to act unholy. Consider these phrases that may enter into your thoughts –

“This makes me so mad, therefore …”

“It is unfair…”

“I have waited long enough…”

“It happens all the time…”

“I am tired…”

“No one cares…”

“You do not understand…”.

You will probably be able to think of many more instances where we allow ourselves to justify behavior that is unbecoming to a Christian. We do better if we are willing to point the finger at ourselves rather than someone else. Regardless of any outside circumstance, God’s children are to be obedient to His word.

How are you seeking holiness?

Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

1Thessalonians 2:10-12 You are witnesses, and [so is] God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; just as you know how we [were] exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father [would] his own children, so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.

1Thessalonians 4:7 For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification.

Philippians 2:12-16 So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for [His] good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or disputing; that you may prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may have cause to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.

Titus 2:11-14 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus; who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.

God’s command to the Israelites was to be holy. This command stands true to His children everywhere. Conclusion: Do not continue in the sin that once held you captive, instead seek holiness because your Father is holy, and he commands His children to be holy.

Think again how society copies their behavior and appearance after the things they follow. Do you imitate the God you worship? We are to put on holiness and put off sin. Both garments cannot be worn at the same time. As God grows us in His likeness, we are less and less garbed in the world as the righteousness imputed to us through Christ becomes more evident in our character.

Tag: behavior

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